When Sick...Sew

I'm feeling slightly better this evening. I passed the time this afternoon sewing a baby bunting for Faith. It is basically a sleeveless fleece sack that zips up. They usually cost a good $20 at a children's store, but you can make them for about $4. I'm all for babies and comfort, so I plan on sewing a good number of these in different colors so that Faith can freely hang out sockless around the house in just a onesie and one of these snugglies.

I'm a decent seamstress when it comes to sewing anything rectangular, but throw neck holes and arm holes into the mix and I'm a mess. Poor Faith ended up with a straight jacket. Sewed right over the arms holes. Did I mention how dangerous it is to sew when you are sick? (It involves a lot of seam ripping.)

Maybe it was more of a subconscious thing...after all...she is my tiny tornado.

I'll add pictures tomorrow.

This Week Packs Another Punch

Emotional drain has invited physical drain to join the party in my body. The beginning of this week was so incredibly tough. I'm still struggling. However, my immune system must have plummeted as I have taken on one heck of a virus. My voice is gone. My eyes are glued shut with gunk. It hurts to cough and swallow. My ears hurt when I do swallow. Blowing my nose feels like I'm trying to blow out an egg yolk through a pin hole in an egg shell. Thankfully, I don't have a fever. Being pregnant, there is nothing I can take, which means getting more than two hours of sleep at a time isn't happening (why I'm here).

Now my concern is that I WILL go into labor feeling as I do, and/or that this will slowly touch the other loved ones in my family over the course of the next two weeks. Worse...The last thing I want is to pass this yuck on to a tiny newborn. The acronymn "RSV" is haunting me. My Braxton Hicks has picked back up, and now I can feel my body practicing "letting down" for the nursing soon in my future. I have yet to have an internal exam, and I had to cancel my appointment for this week, so I have little to go on.

I'm praying and praying that this stays isolated, and that Faith is feeling very comfortable about her close quarters. She is in the safest place she can be right now, until Mama gets better. She's probably wondering what stranger took over her Mama's body as when I do find my voice it is not a pretty sound.

Blessed.

Yesterday was probably one of the most difficult days of my life over the course of the last few years. In my previous post I had mentioned that a friend from my Bible Study was being induced. At the time, I had little information to go on, and I thought the news was primarily all good. It was not.

She and I have a unique relationship. Two years ago we were pregnant together, only weeks apart, and we shared our joys of early pregnancy. Then we lost our babies, weeks apart, and we mourned together. This year we could hardly believe our timing and blessings as we were pregnant again, one week apart. She is 10 years older than me, and her pregnancy was especially a blessing to be praised, as it defied the statistics. We all felt the hand of God was in her unexpected miracle.

We've shared our pregnancy cravings, activity, and ailments throughout the last nine months. We were thrown a lovely dual shower by our Women's group. There was to be a great rejoicing around our two little ones next month when our Bible study resumed.

Yesterday, I found my husband and myself in the NICU stroking the tiny calves and forehead of my friend's newborn son, and praying over his tiny frame with her husband. He was only three weeks early. He was 3 lbs. He should have been full term. He should have been full of health. He was not. Somebody should have known or seen these problems on an ultrasound. No one did. There were no warnings. No signs. I should have been shedding tears of joy. Instead, I was fighting the urge to hit my knees right there in the room in grief.

Despite it all, this child was a miracle who had made it so far, who had survived every odd against him. He was born alive, pink and beautiful. He responded to our touches. But short of numerous miracles, he will rejoin his loving Father soon.

I haven't cried this much since my father and I held the hands of my beloved grandmother as she passed into heaven. Not even over the loss over my own pregnancy two years ago. Embracing his mother, praying with his father and having the unexpected invitation to love on this child, just weeks away from my own pregnacy was beyond difficult.

I am ashamed of my last post. Within hours of writing it, I was regretting my words. God quickly revealed a hard truth to me. For many weeks, the mothers of the twins have been making difficult and long trips to the hospital just to be with their newborns. Many have been on bedrest. Few January pregnancies have been without their difficulties. I am the exception.

How can I issue an ounce of complaint? The Lord has protected my health and baby Faith since the day of her conception. I have had the joy of still being able to care for my family, and stand on my own two feet without a moments concern. I have learned that to stand at all, and go home with a child in my arms is a blessing that, until now, I have not fully understood.

I am blessed. Forgive me Lord.
I am blessed. I am so very blessed.

Thank you Jesus.

The Last One Standing

In our church of about 400 people, 8 of us were due to have a baby in January. The big joke was that we were going to send the nursery at church into an instant overcapacity crisis. I had a feeling, (knowing my history to be late), that I would be the last woman standing. Both sets of twins went earlier than their due date, (as to be expected), one friend had her little boy last week, and one of the ladies from my Bible Study is having her little boy induced today. My Bible Study buddy, was due the same week as myself.

Who the others are at the moment, I cannot recall -- but I FEEL like the last one standing, and I still have two weeks to go, before my due date. I really thought Baby Faith would punch her way out of here on her own, but I am starting to have some doubts. I don't expect her to be punching now as she's still got at least two weeks left to primp before her big debut. But for some reason, being the last one standing two weeks before I expected to be the last one standing, is a little harder to swallow. And, chances are that I still have at least three weeks in front of me, and not two.

It's not a big deal I suppose. Just a mite bit depressing. All tasks seem to take twice as long with three times as much effort to execute. Everything from clipping my toenails to vacuuming the floor. My muscles are so loose from the relaxing hormones in my body, that I can pull a muscle just folding clothes. In addition, I've slept great the last few days. No Braxton Hicks hardly at all. And for some reason, that's depressing!! I should be rejoicing. In fact, I prayed specifically to the Lord the other night, that He would pave the way for me to have a full nights rest. He answered my prayer, and now restful sleep has me concerned. DUH!

OIY. I think this officially marks the "Hormonal" part of my pregnancy.

Practice Makes Perfect

Perhaps after all that baby sewing, my body thinks I'm safe to go ahead and think about labor. Unfortuately, my Braxton Hicks has a tendency to kick up in the evening, when I finally sit down. Ken and I did a marathon viewing of the last disc for 24's last season, and sure enough, the BHs kicked in with the action on the screen.

All was uneventful until Jack woke up at 1:30 concerned about the unseen in his room. After tucking him back in bed, and starting his music again, it was back to bed. Jack was back an hour later concerned about the spooky things and monsters in his room. Open the blinds, tuck back in, reset music, and back to bed. To my disappointment, Mr. Braxton Hicks decided to climb in with me as I tried to doze back off, which set off my daily need for Tums and Pepcid tablets. Hicks was so strong this time, that it felt like a constant knot around my belly, no matter what position I shifted to. So I headed to the Dutailer rocker beside the bed thinking that a new postion might scare him off. Instead, the contractions began increasing in length and strength. My Dutalier has a history of setting me into labor (Grace), so I thought it might be wise to move elsewhere.

Hoping that more movement might chase BH away, I headed to the office. Long story - short, I finally was able to ignore the contractions, and crash on the office couch as they gradually decreased by 5:00am. My stomach still felt like a giant metal marble when I woke up, and didn't soften until a warm shower. I have never had to deal with BH contractions that kept me awake and launched their attacks under the cover of darkness. Hopefully, these boot camp sessions are almost over -- I'm ready for Operation Exit Faith.

The Cradle Will Rock

SECOND HAPPY DANCE! I'm still here, just very focused on getting all of the sewing projects knocked out before D-Day. This is the baby cradle that I slept in, given to my mother by my maternal grandparents as a shower gift. My two brothers and my sister have all slept in this cradle, and it is has earned its worth as an heirloom piece in our family.


Before the arrival of my first child, I sanded down the old finish, smoothed it out, and gave it a fresh stain and satin finish. She looks brand new, and has continued to cradle a new generation in our family. I saw this fabric while shopping online for my crib fabric, and I couldn't resist ditching the gender neutral mint green cradle bumper pad I had made previously, for two yards of this totally girly fabric.


Jack is lobbying hard for the cradle to go in his room, since Grace got the crib. Here is one area mommy won't budge. As is tradition, Faith will be by my side of the bed nested in the cradle.


So what sewing projects are left? My long neglected 99 inch curtains for the green room. I'm almost done, just need to add the fringe, pleats, and buttons on the last panel and they'll be ready to go. However, I'm about to do a third happy dance, as I have given up on my dream to make a duvet cover and curtains for our room. For 6 years, the marriage bed has been the most neglected area of the house. No duvet cover, just a dirty old feather comforter and some boring white sheets. Ken's big giant pillow and my little scrap of a pillow. With Ken's full support, I announced last week that I'm just going to find something. If I face reality squarely, I'll never get the bedding and drapery for our room done.

There is one condition that Ken has made, and that is I can't put the new bedding or drapery up until the room is completely clean. No nesting piles. No small piles of junk that haven't moved in three years. And so I'm off...because my stuff has arrived, and I can hardly bear it! Our bedroom will finally have some decor.